Arguing is tearing us apart

When couples handle their differences badly, they typically end up throwing ‘hand grenades’ at each other. In other words, they do everything that is unhelpful in terms of resolving their differences, and inevitably end up fighting, or worse. The result is, their issues go underground even though outwardly each person seems to have moved on

The brands you choose matter

Compatibility in a marriage for most people comes from having similar tastes and backgrounds, such as their level of education, religious beliefs, family upbringing, and everyday choices made in life. A recent study has found that brand compatibility is more important than these similarities in determining how happy you are as a couple. Research on

Is keeping your promises important?

Promises, promises, promises… From early in life, our parents make promises that we all hold them to. As children we make pinky promises. As adults in our own relationships we are held to account for promises we make to our partners. Like it or not, each promise is a ‘social contract’ and we need to

Getting the intimacy you want

Intimacy…everybody wants it, not everyone can achieve it. The desire to express and experience intimacy is a natural human desire, yet many relationships are starved of this at different times throughout the relationship. When couples first come together intimacy is sensational and each person carries the expectation that it will last forever. Some couples however

Disconnection – the silent destroyer

How do two people who once loved each other, and shared so much in life together such as buying a house, having children, holidays, illness, caring for each other, being involved with each others extended family, etc, end up being unhappy in their relationship to the extent where they do or are prepared to divorce?

5 Steps – From conflict to communication

Good communication in a marriage is not something that just happens simply because two people want it to happen. Good communication is a skill and like any other, it only improves with commitment, a good mindset and constant practice, preferably with the co-operation of your partner. Like learning any new skill, when you practice these

4 Big communication mistakes

When couples fight they unintentionally cause long-term harm to their relationship. Instead of resolving the conflict and improving the positive thoughts and feelings for each other they end up with unresolved negative outcomes. This can lead to feelings of disconnection and eventually marriage breakdown. These are the four biggest mistakes couples make when trying to

Talking to your partner about counselling

Tips on How to Get to Counselling Bringing up the subject of counselling can be challenging, and how to do this is a common question that we are asked by people. Both men and women equally experience this challenge of how to encourage a reluctant partner to marriage counselling. Often couples find themselves at a

Resentment will poison your marriage

While there are many reasons why couples struggle in their marriage, there is one particular problem that sneaks its way into a relationship. It’s a sneaky issue  that slowly sets about eroding the quality of the marriage over time, eventually leading to marriage and family fragmentation. I speak here of ‘resentment’. Resentment can masquerade in

Headaches that affect intimacy

Believe it or not but headaches occurring during sexual activity really happen. Couples will talk about headaches occurring when discussing intimacy issues with a couple’s counsellor – these are what we refer to as “sex headaches.” As the name implies, sex headaches occur through sexual activity, in particular an orgasm. A headache can have a