Believe it or not but headaches occurring during sexual activity really happen.
Couples will talk about headaches occurring when discussing intimacy issues with a couple’s counsellor – these are what we refer to as “sex headaches.”
As the name implies, sex headaches occur through sexual activity, in particular an orgasm.
A headache can have a very real and harmful effect on a couple’s sex life. When pain kicks in, it’s a challenge for anyone, male or female, to maintain that sexual feeling.
Apparently, it was Hippocrates who first made the association between headaches, exercise and sexual activity. In marriage counselling sessions, couples will often make comments where they compare having sex together to various degrees of exercise intensity.
For some people, the headache may begin with a dull ache in their head and neck, which increases as sexual activity and excitement builds. Others experience a sudden and intense pain in their head immediately before or during orgasm.
Avoiding pain
In the discussions with couples in marriage counselling we have found that it is common for the partner who experiences severe headaches during sex to develop behavioural strategies to minimize opportunities for sex.
When the headaches occur in clusters, it’s not surprising that the partner in pain attempts to avoid any sexual interaction.
The danger for the marriage is that this eventually extends to avoidance of all forms of affection and intimacy because the partner with the headaches fears that it doesn’t stop at affection, but will eventually lead to sex.
Over time, this repetitive avoidance of affection, intimacy and/or sex will place a significant strain on the marriage because affection, intimacy and sex are important characteristics of a healthy marriage.
Any person in physical pain will say quite clearly that it is really difficult to feel sexual when you’re hurting.
The science
Sex headaches can affect any person. The Mayo Clinic in the USA has identified two common risk factors for these types of headaches.
1. Being a man (men are 3 to 4 times more likely than women to get sex headaches)
2. Being prone to migraine headaches
Researchers have found that about 1% of adults report that they have experienced headaches as a result of sexual activity, and that these headaches can be very intense.
However, the actual numbers are most likely to be much higher than what is known – according to Dr Jose Biller, a neurologist and headache specialist at the Loyola University Medical Centre.
Jose Biller suggests that “many people who experience headaches during sexual activity are too embarrassed to tell their GP’s (medical doctor) or other health professionals, and often GP’s do not ask their patients about these – hence, sex headaches go unreported.
The Mayo Clinic reports that most sex headaches will affect a person for just a few minutes, however, for others the headache may occur for several hours.
The Clinic has also found in their research that for many couples, sex headaches will occur in clusters over a few months and then not reoccur for a year or more.
There are three main types of sex headaches that people experience:-
1. A dull ache in the head and neck that begins before orgasm, and gets worse as sexual arousal increases
2. An intensely painful headache that begins during orgasm and can last for hours. This form of headache is often referred to as a thunderclap headache because it grabs your attention similar to a clap of thunder
3. A headache that occurs during sex and can range from mild to extremely painful. The headache gets worse when the patient stands, and lessens when the person lies back down.
Although the Mayo Clinic reports that most sex headaches are nothing to worry about, they also comment that some of these headaches can also be an indication of a more serious underlying medical condition and people should consult their GP about this.
What will help
Fortunately, not all is doom and gloom with sex headaches, as neurologist Seymour Diamond, MD, from the National Headache Foundation in the USA comments that there is some evidence to suggest that frequent sex can actually prevent the occurrence of migraines.
Diamond comments that since sex leads to the release of pain-alleviating endorphins, then some people may have the positive experience that sexual activity actually relieves their pain symptoms.
The good news is that sex headaches do not have to spell the end to your sex life.
There is a very good chance that you can maintain intimacy in your marriage despite the headaches by simply applying some of the following strategies.
Treatment Options
Depending on the type of headache a person is experiencing, there are a range of medications that can help relieve pain or even prevent some headaches from happening.
As always, effective treatment depends on accurate diagnosis, so the best place to begin is with seeing your GP to discuss your headaches and treatment options.
Some people reduce their risk of headaches through regular exercise, minimizing their alcohol consumption, and maintaining a healthy weight regime. Biller also recommends counselling such as marriage and couples counselling to help reduce the tensions and stress in a relationship, which helps minimize sex headaches.
Another important strategy in maintaining intimacy in your marriage is to talk with your partner.
Taking the time to speak openly and honestly with your partner about the impact of the pain on yourself and the marriage is one of the most important ways to safeguard your marriage from any negative impact on your marriage. This is again where counselling may help smooth the waters.
It is also very important for your partner to see that you are active in the process of seeking out effective treatment options to manage the pain in order to improve your life and marriage. For example, you may be more willing to try a new medication that has recently come onto the market, as well as to demonstrate a keenness to attempt any stress reduction techniques or natural remedies that may also assist.
Article Source:
Dr Jose BILLER; “Sex Headaches: More Common Than You’d Think” in http://www.loyolamedicine.org/newswire/news/sex-headaches-more-common-youd-think
Mayo Clinic; http://www.mayoclinic.org
Dr Seymour DIAMOND; http://www.headaches.org