No matter how far apart we are from each other geographically in the physical world, the increasing capabilities of the Internet are progressively simplifying how we connect with others.
Texting is now part of everyday life, but it also creates opportunities for misinterpretation
1. Keep it as simple as possible
When texting a difficult matter, it is always best to keep your text simple, to the point and easy to follow.
2. Avoid emotional language or insults
And using metaphors can be tricky and open to misunderstandings as they are very subjective. For example, if you text that this situation reminds you of similar negative situation in the past, then you risk becoming distracted from the current situation and so people add their own interpretations on matters and the whole situation escalates; Avoid using capitals!
3. Use respect, reason and care to manage the argument
Generally speaking most couples are reasonable people, therefore, if you can appeal to their sense of fairness, there is a greater chance of winning them over to your way of thinking.
4. Stay respectful at all times
Focus on solving the issue, and don’t take the opportunity to express your hurt, anger or frustrations with your partner.
Don’t criticize or make personal attacks on your partner, this will only result in them becoming angry and withdraw from you
5. Keep questions and challenges to a minimum
Sometimes when you ask a question it presents an opportunity for the floodgates to open up for a range of old and new topics to be thrown at you, and you subsequently get lost in the overload of issues.
Also, questions are sometimes used to change the subject and then it can become difficult to return to the original matter. Only asking questions if you really need an answer, not to prove a point.
Managing the insults
One of the traps of texting is to read too much into a comment or to misread it altogether. All too frequently people can feel a sense of insult resulting from either intended or unintended comments. But let’s assume that the insult was intentional.
The question is how to now handle the matter? Generally speaking, things only escalate if you respond to one insult with another. Therefore, you should not react to the provocation, but either ignore it or deal with it respectfully and quickly. The matter can always be discussed later in a face-to-face situation.
Safety pull-out rule:
If you text when in an angry state of mind, just don’t push that send button until you’ve had a chance to reread and edit it at a later time when you are in a calmer frame of mind. Also, if you have an inclination that the tone of the text is just a little too aggressive or even too assertive, then again reconsider before sending.
When in doubt, don’t send it!